Eliza and her monsters - Francesca Zappia

 Summary: In the real world, Eliza Mirk is shy, weird, and friendless. Online, she’s LadyConstellation, the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea. Eliza can’t imagine enjoying the real world as much as she loves the online one, and she has no desire to try.

Then Wallace Warland, Monstrous Sea’s biggest fanfiction writer, transfers to her school. Wallace thinks Eliza is just another fan, and as he draws her out of her shell, she begins to wonder if a life offline might be worthwhile.

But when Eliza’s secret is accidentally shared with the world, everything she’s built—her story, her relationship with Wallace, and even her sanity—begins to fall apart.

My opinion: This book comes from my june box of Owlcrate with the theme "Comic Explosion" and it fits perfectly. Really! Not only that Eliza draws comics in the story, also the book is filled with a mix of text and extracs from her comic story "Monstrous Sea". That was a great variety while reading.

First let me say something: This book was much darker than I expected before. It is a book about social anxiety, about suicidal tendencies, about wounded souls. But despite that (or because of it?!) the story blew me away. Maybe because I can connect with Eliza in some parts. I don't suffer from social anxiety but I often feel awkward in crowds an bigger groups, especially when I am in the center or when I don't know anybody well. Besides, small talk is something I hate. I am not good at it and for me it's a waste of time. But saying nothing while you are in an elevator or similar feels strange too, you know?

I'm so tired. I'm tired of anxiety that twists my stomach SO hard I can't move the rest of my Body. Tired of constant vigilance. Tired of wanting to do something about myself, but always taking easy way out.

Eliza suffers from anxiety for a long long time so she discovers the internet for herself. The internet offers a way to explore the world, to find others to talk to while you sit at home behind a safe barrier. So - of course - Eliza's friendships are online and while for her they are deep and serious, her parents don't see them as "real" friendships and worry about her.

But Eliza loves her online friends and that is not the only thing she loves about the internet. She also publishes her own webcomic there and while the comic gets more and more popular she can stay anonymous.

But to protect her namelessness gets harder when Wallace appears in her class. A new student who appears to be the greatest fanfiction writer of Elizas webcomic. He is a big-hearted, vulnerable young man who not only understands Eliza (because he is an artist himself) but who takes her as she is. For the first time ever she feels accepted. So how can she lie to him about her real identity?

Of course the big disclosure is unpreventable and Eliza's world collapses.

After reading this book, my heart was full. I felt understood. Not only because there is a lot of geeky fandom, cosplay and fanart in it, but because there is a message that tells you: You are okay. You are worth it. Just be okay with yourself!

It's okay to not always be happy, to not always want to talk, to not go to every party around you. It's okay to just shut the world out and simply read a book because the real life is too stressful at the moment.

I learned years ago that it's okay to do this. To seek out small spaces for myself, to stop and imagine myself alone. People are to much sometimes. Friends, acquaintances, enemies, strangers. It doesn't matter: they all crowd.

It was great to read such a thoughtful book. It will definitely stay a little treasure in my shelf(s!!!!!;)).

Title and cover: Like the last boxes this one came with a book with an exclusive owlcrate cover. In the "normal" cover, the guy is on the right and he is bigger. And the lettering in green instead of yellow. I like both types because I think the two figures symbolize Eliza and Wallace and they take care of each other, they rescue each other. So it doesn't care which one is the bigger part. I also adore the splotched hands. A good symbol for Elizas art. My first impression when I saw the cover was the warning "Handle with care." and no other sentence goes so perfectly with the book.

Will you read this book again? No doubt, I will!